The Law of the Mirror

The human tendency is to be quick to cast blame and quick to defend ourselves.  I travel for work in a problem-solving capacity.  I've seen it everywhere I've gone. We've all seen it in our kids or our nieces and nephews.  I often catch myself looking outside myself for a cause before recognizing my own contribution to a problem.  And sometimes, after being convinced others were the cause of the problem, I find that the problem solely originated with me.  In those cases, best case is if I recognize that early on, before I say something; before I let my emotions cloud my judgment and have to fight them off or at least recognize what they are and why I have them.  Worst case . . . well, you can imagine.  Yep, you've been there too.

So what do we do about this?

Andy Stanley, a pastor in Georgia, makes the case that acknowledging our tendency to make a mess of things, or that we have made a mess in a particular situation, is the first step to acknowledging our need for grace.

It's funny how much people resist that.  I resist that.  No one wants to admit they are wrong (at first) because that means they have to own up to their actions.  It also means admitting they are accountable to a standard.  When the stakes are high because the action committed or not committed is of high consequence, it's even harder.  Will others forgive?  Will I be able to forgive myself?

I think you would all agree with that.  You face that every time you mess up at work, every time you let your spouse down, your significant other down, or your friends and family down.  You face that every time you let yourself down, and every time you do something or think something that only you know about that you are ashamed to admit to yourself or ashamed to admit to someone else . . .

And sometimes we do those things on purpose!  Ever watch a reality tv show?  I remember a time I stole something from my brother, then, because I knew I would get caught in a couple hours and did not want him to have what I had stolen, I made certain that him having what I had stolen would not be possible.  I knew exactly what I was doing and it was a conscious decision.  I was six.

Stanley also mentions the human tendency to hold people to a standard we don't keep well ourselves.  We all do it.

The question I have, the question Stanley has -- indeed, the question you may have -- is why?

Stanley quotes C.S. Lewis regarding the source.  For some reason, we all have an inner, metaphysical, guide called a conscience that we can slowly kill but that we cannot shake.  You may write it off as an evolutionary by-product, but that is hard to explain.  Evolution, by its very nature, is harsh, unrelenting, soulless, merciless,  unforgiving, indiscriminate and selfish.  So where does this come from?

By extension of the above, what Stanley gets to is the need to extend grace.  And that comes from recognizing that the next time something happens you could be the source, and that we really do not understand all the factors going into someone's actions till we ask (and really, not even then) and that we all mess up.

I would recommend watching Andy Stanley's sermon.  If you are not a church-goer, you will find it non-threatening, rational and true to life.  And it will make you think.  It made me think.

Let me take the question one step further.  What if we all acknowledged that we mess up - and that we mess up frequently?  What if we started looking in the mirror (first)?  What if we showed each other grace because we recognized our own need for grace based on the past or present, or our own possible future need for grace?

That would be something.

Question then is, if we really think about it, would God show us grace?  It's one thing to show another messed up person grace.  It's another to extend grace when not doing so would not make you a hypocrite. If God is perfect and never messes up, would God be willing to show us mercy?  Would God be willing to show us grace?

Let's say He was?  How would that change things?

Would we be more willing to admit our mistakes?  Would we be more willing to accept grace?  Could we have valid reason not to extend grace - or at least forgiveness - to others?

What if showing grace were only possible because God is not only willing to show us grace (liberally) when we ask for it . . . but took a giant step toward us to make showing grace possible? Christian doctrine states that while we were yet messed up sinners, Christ died for us . . .

What if we asked for it?