Chasing Integrity

A coworker grilled me with questions once as to knowing when I was telling the truth and when I was acting dumb. I didn’t know I ever purposely acted dumb, but her questions caused me to reflect on my integrity.  I have a ways to go.

I’ve compiled a list of “ifs” that disbanded my previous notions of integrity – these represent my journey towards integrity – they may represent yours as well. 

• If I’m unwilling to confront when wronged and confront in a manner that seeks to maintain relationship (to love the other person), I lack integrity.
• If I shrink from difficult conversations because I don’t want to get my hands dirty with sorting through the details, including my responsibility for the misunderstanding, I lack integrity.
• If I’m unwilling to “beat up the bully” when being abused or misused, I lack integrity.
• If I’m unwilling to sacrificially lay my life down for a greater cause, knowing that greater cause exists, even when wrongly accused (think Jesus), I lack integrity.
• If I’m unwilling to forgive, I lack integrity.
• If I’m unwilling to trust again, I lack integrity.
• If I lack compassion, I lack integrity.
• If I fail to show grace, knowing how much I myself have received it, I lack integrity.
• If I fail to show mercy, knowing how much mercy God has on me, I lack integrity.
• If I quit and pretend it’s something else, I lack integrity.
• If I do not have personal boundaries, I lack integrity.
• If I’m unwilling to maintain my boundaries, I lack integrity.
• If I’m dishonest about who I am, I lack integrity.
• If I’m dishonest (with myself) about whom I’m becoming, I lack integrity.
• If I say I love God, but don’t lay my life down in surrender and obedience, I lack integrity. 
• If I seek myself before I seek others, I lack integrity.  
• If I trumpet my integrity so people are willing to trust me, I lack integrity.  
• If I act deceitfully when someone beats me in sports (e.g. a cheap foul, disguised), I lack integrity.  
• If I pretend to be something I’m not, I lack integrity.  
• If I’m unwilling to be vulnerable about who I am, when appropriate, I lack integrity.  
• If I’m unwilling admit my need and ask for help, I lack integrity (and courage).  
• If I bow to my fears, I lack integrity.  
• If I let fear dictate my actions, I lack integrity.  
• If I fear people vs. fear God, I lack integrity.  
• If I seek the speck in the eyes of others before removing the plank in mine, I lack integrity.  
• If I approach God and others arrogantly, I lack integrity.  
• If I forget that I’m human and that every good thing and perfect gift I have comes from God, I lack integrity.  
• If I forget that everything I have, including my finances, belongs to God, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to admit I’m wrong, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to acknowledge my weaknesses, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to acknowledge (and act on) my strengths, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to develop my strengths, I lack integrity.  
• If I hoard my knowledge, talents, resources and time, while the years pass by, I lack integrity.  
• If I malign others, I lack integrity.  
• If I malign others to exalt myself, I lack integrity.  
• If I malign others to protect myself, I lack integrity.  
• If I use my influence, insight, wisdom, understanding and knowledge to serve myself vs. serve others (to seek position, power or prestige), I lack integrity.  
• If I use or manipulate others vs. developing relationships and motivating action (leading faithfully), I lack integrity.  
• If I act before the time to act, or rely on myself vs. rely on God, I lack integrity.  
• If I’m unwilling to do the hard work of making smart decisions, I lack integrity.  
• If I’m loose with my budget, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to confront reality, I lack integrity.  
• If I put others at risk to try something new (untried), without first assessing the risks, I lack integrity (sometimes, you make the best decision you can in the time allotted).  
• If I fail to stand up when the moment arrives to confront injustice, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to stand up when the moment arrives to tell the truth and call people on their dishonesty, I lack integrity.  
• If I participate in wickedness or dishonesty by not taking a stand when the moment arrives, I lack integrity.  
• If I shrink from telling the truth or speaking up because it’s inconvenient, I lack integrity.  
• If I seek to save face by not praising others or by not admitting my error, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to acknowledge and confess my sin to God, I lack integrity.  
• If I think I’m something that I’m not, I lack integrity.  
• If I praise myself, I lack integrity.  
• If I seek the praise of man, I lack integrity.  
• If I’m unwilling to allow others to rejoice with me in my accomplishments, I lack integrity.  
• If I fail to rejoice in the accomplishments of others, I lack integrity.  
• If I’m unwilling to befriend people because it means being vulnerable, I lack integrity.  
• If I turn my head from the suffering of others, I lack integrity.  
• If I lack generosity, I lack integrity.  
• If I lack self-control, I lack integrity.  
• If I lack contentment, I lack integrity.  
• If I have anxiety, I lack integrity.  
• If I lack faith, I lack integrity.  
• If I lack hope, I lack integrity.  
• If I lack love, I lack integrity.